When senior Coby Vandenberg first saw his now-girlfriend Baylee Davis who is a freshman at UNT, his eyes lit up as he broke into a grin. “She was the prettiest girl I have ever seen,” Vandenberg said. “When she asked for my number and we first started texting, I never knew she would be the one.”

   People believe that long distance relationships will never work. Family and friends may advise you not to take a relationship like that too seriously, in a case that you might get your heart broken. Relationships are not easy, near or far, things can get difficult.

   According to lifehack.com, “Nobody says it is easy. The extra distance makes many things unachievable. Things could get complicated, and you could get sad and lonely at times.

  Experts say there are several ways to make long distance relationships work such as  strong communication and putting in the extra effort: 1. See it as an opportunity.
“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” – Anonymous
View it as a learning journey for the both of you. See it as a test of your love for each other. As the Chinese saying goes, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” Instead of thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.

   2. Set some ground rules to manage your expectations. Both of you need to be clear with what you expect of with each other during this long distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise. For instance, are you two exclusive? Is it alright for the other person to go on dates? What is your commitment level? It’s better to be open with each other about all these things.

   3. Try to communicate regularly, and creatively. Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day — this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and what is happening, however mundane some of the things may seem. To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips and short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel and attended to.  

   4. Have a goal in mind. “What do we want to achieve at the end of the day?” “How long are we going to be apart?” “What about the future?” These are the questions you two need to ask yourselves. The truth is, no couple can be in a long distance relationship for forever. Eventually we all need to settle down. So make a plan with each other. Do up a timeline, marking down the estimated times apart and times together, and draw an end goal. It is important that you two are on the same page and have the same goals. So that even if you are not living in the same space and the same timezone, both of you are still working together in the same direction towards a future that includes one another.                                                    

  “However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest, being able to hold the person’s hand, eating together at the same table, taking a walk together… These small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a long distance relationship.”

   In a recent interview with Vandenberg, he shared the important aspects in his relationship. What a long distance relationship means for him and what he foresees for his future.

  The summer before Vanderberg’s sophomore year and Davis’s junior year of high school, the two attended a camp held at Tarleton where they locked eyes across a piano for the first time.

  “Throughout the year, I saw her sing at choir all state and act in her high school play in Granbury,” Vandenberg said. “We have been together almost three years now.”

  Long distance relationships are never easy but according to an article by Erin M. Sahlstein, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder and affections increase because of physical separation.”

  Despite what many people believe, long distance relationships do not break up at any greater rate than more traditional, geographically close couples. By putting in the effort of communicating regularly and creatively in your relationship, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.

  “When I know she won’t be able to talk, I like to leave sweet voicemails for her to listen to when she is no longer busy to let her know that I am thinking about her. I also like to send her flowers. We write each other poems to show off when we see each other,” Vandenberg said.

  Recently, Vandenberg was accepted to attend UNT in the fall of 2017. This couple has never attended the same school. The closest they have lived near each other was when she was in Granbury with a 30 minute distance.

  “Seeing eachother everyday will be weird, but I can only imagine our relationship growing,” Vandenberg said. “She inspires me to be the best I can be. When we are together, it is always exciting.”

  Couples know how to satisfy their needs for the future and establish trust within the relationship.

  According to the article, The Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships, “Couples in long distance relationships report identical levels of relationship satisfaction, intimacy, trust, and commitment.”

  Though couples love each other deeply, they still have fights.

  “Fighting at a distance is hard because it’s over the phone and it’s hard to start a fight, have the fight, and resolve the fight all over one phone call. I just want to be with her,” Vandenberg said. “We don’t fight over a lack of trust per se, I trust her. I worry for her safety more than her cheating.”

  Long distance relationships are hard work but worth it if the couple continues to fight for it.

  “Try hard and never give up,” Vandenberg said.